In the world we live in, our very existence will make a difference. This gives a meaning to our lives. Think of each day as assigned to you to complete a mission, much as those you saw in movies. Real life is full of missions, you get lost if you can't define your objective. I've been lost for days, slacking off at first then lost as a consequences, seeking for the push to drag me back to reality, one that vitalizes the content of my days.

Sometimes I do feel lonely. It was a horrible feeling. I felt much like I had been isolated from the rest of the world, that no one understood what was torturing me. It is the lack of understanding, lack of communication at depth, and lack of such opportunities that have thrown me in such abyss.

An ordinary trick, for which I still can not think of a replacement, is to make calls to phone numbers my old acquaintances used to possess. Most of them are disconnected, but more of them I am not willing to dial. I fear, for indescribable reasons, that I may reach some one who I totally do not talk to, i.e. who does not really match my expectations for an attractive stranger.

Time flows regardless what I think. It is as simple as that. I see the world circles in an orbit. It starts at some point and comes back very much the same as it started. It is the tiny bit of change that we call evolution that faithfully recorded the progress (change), but unfortunately, we, as those who defined the fancy term evolution, do not have the vision to discern the difference, not to mention without dreams, none of us will live long enough to witness for ourselves the change.

Feeling alone, then lonely, I sometimes may feel even helpless. Talking to anyone I know won't help. It didn't help. Including my parents, who many of my friends suggested would be the most helpful of all. Unfortunately, the gap between us, both in terms of understanding and perception of things, is so huge, and our reluctance to try to bring our minds together grows bigger day by day, this seemingly good way looked not promising to me at all.

Then, what is my way out, I wonder. If I could ever get one? I do not know. I prefer to leave the future unknown. Unknown means there is hope, it means any thing, good or bad, can happen. It means, I have something to live for.